Social Media Enters the Bedroom

Augustus McCrea, the crusty old Texas ranger in Lonesome Dove,  always asked the beautiful prostitute, Laurie,  if she’d “like a poke”. An old fashioned coinage for having intercourse.  Now it’s in the Urban dictionary with the same meaning.  Face Book, on the other hand, uses “the poke” on its site.  It’s simply supposed to “poke” someone into responding or say “wake up numb nuts.”  I don’t think Face Book and The Zuck had these consequences in mind when they created their social media site.  Durex, a UK condom maker, did a survey asking people about what they do in bed while using their condoms.  They got some interesting answers.  Listen up Zuck.  5% check Face Book while having sex.  Yep.  And not only that, 10% read texts and 12% answer the phone.  Phone rings: “What ya up to Jeff?  Reply:  Nothing much. ”  Status update from Jennifer:  Hey FB peeps.  Anybody out there have a good dating site?  Check in:  Terrace Apartments #flatonmyback.  Back on March 29 of this year,  Durex wanted people to actually be in bed between the hours of 8:30 pm and 9:30 pm with no lighting on whatsoever.  Not even the green glow of an iPad, iPhone etc.  I wonder how that went. And if it sold any more condoms.  Face Book has discreetly moved the “poke” button.  It is now on the person’s timeline next to their message button which is located on their cover photo.  I guess The Zuck finally read an Urban dictionary.

Doing something else in bed while having sex isn’t new for George Costanza of Seinfeld fame.  For him, the way to perfect sex was eating a pastrami on rye and listening to a New York Yankees game.  Long live Seinfeld…Oh, and don’t listen to the people who say they’ve seen me put a condom on my head.  It’s an urban myth.